CONFESSIONAL WITHOUT THE VIDEO

Hello Readers,

Well where do I begin. I've decided not to do a video and instead write how I feel instead of tell it on a video. I think I will express things alot more clear this way. Over the past few weeks I've been doing alot of soul searching. I've been trying to find out who Q is and what my real passions in life are. I've also been re-evaulting in my mind the friendships I have with people. Now that I look at all of the friendships that I have now and have had in past, I can truely say my truest friends are males. They tend to be better listeners more so than females, atleast in my experience. My so called friendships with females in particular have been the basis of my focus lately. To date, I can say that I do not have one true female friend. Someone that listens to me and fully supports me in whatever I do, especially modeling because modeling is very important to me and to get support in that area means ions to me. Honestly, I've felt somewhat used by the female "friends" I've had in the last few months and now that I realize this, I would rather be by myself and just have family support me an be there for me. When think about my life in the past, I never really had a best friend that was a female anyway. It was always guys. Its not that I didnt want a best friend, thats just the way it has happened. Even now, someone who I thought was really a friend to me, I have realized that it is not what it seems. Our relationship is not a normal friendship. The only time we hang out is when we're going out to the club or some party. This is not a friendship and I can't keep lying to myself and saying that it is, so I've accepted it now. But I really want things to be different as far as my friendships with other girls. There are just some things you can't talk to a guy about. I wish to have more friends that have common interest such as myself. I wish to have friends that support and more importantly listen to me, because I always listen and it should be an even exchange. I guess it will take time for me to find true friends, but all good things come to those who wait....so i'll wait.